(sagging leotard)
There are countries where people choose not to eat,
a political statement
look at me
i'm not eating
(scaly skin)
To protest abuse they perpetuate it
countries where men wearing robes sit in caves
not eating because they love jesus
Fasting to celebrate, to purge, colonic detox
(shaking limbs)
Countries where fasting is a way of life
because there is no food
and what is this country
where I hide
down under a hundred
prone on the couch
strong
no one can hold out like me
(irregular heartbeat)
In a dream it was a choice
look at me
i'm not eating
Drawing attention to a problem
that isn't mine
(hunger thins and fades)
landlocked and searching for causes
each refusal one step closer to
not eating in a country where it counts.
(trembling fingers crush crumbs)
|
We're all fucked up from drinking
|
| and we never touched a drop |
| (there really was no need to) |
| my father drank the world dry |
| before his heart exploded |
|
| scattering pieces of his children |
| amongst the debris of street people of which we were not one because |
| our father had a job, goddammit. |
|
| Lucky for us mother saw the humor in the situation and we laughed
of course, |
| scrambling to reassemble before anyone noticed |
| (it was important no one notice but I can't remember why) |
| some of us were never found |
| which was the reason perhaps for suicide attempts but lucky for
us |
| mother saw the humor in the situation. |
|
| I see my father's hand print on my daughter's shadow and it shakes |
| like the time he shattered his elbow and they couldn't operate until |
| they dried him out and my best friend's mother was his nurse and
she pretended not |
| to notice (it was important not to notice but I can't
remember why). |
|
| She is perfectly made, this child of mine with her brilliant wholeness
and she |
| laughs at my stitching and swears she's not fucked up from drinking,
never touches |
| a drop but then she doesn't need to - |
|
| Her grandfather drank the world dry |
| before his heart exploded. |
|
| They looked like people I would know. |
| Sockless sneakers anbd jeans for her, |
| he wore stripes and plaid. |
|
| She rode silently, eyes averted |
| and twice she checked her watch. |
| Small variations in the transcape excited |
| his attention, darting manic across the aisle. |
|
| Caught in the moment, |
| hurtling through the darkness as a team |
| I leaned over recklessly and asked |
| did she want a cracker |
| or some juice and the smallest frown erupted |
| her voice a broken wing, |
|
| "Thank you, no, breakfast was this morning too big." |
| Sinking back, this woman from somewhere else |
| clutched her companion's arm, |
| closed her eyes. |
|
| They sat quietly, gently leaning, |
| exhausted by the effort |
| of looking like people I would know |
| on a train. |
|